We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
