I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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