Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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