what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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