Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
