Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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