When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize