so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
