It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
