After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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