$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
