even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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