i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
