So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
a search helicopter?!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
