does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!