i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.