Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.