um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
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we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.