my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i now understand why vodka
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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