we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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