Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
