Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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