Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
