i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
