i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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