im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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