shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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