New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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