if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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