dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
