Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
