hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
