He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
