I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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