he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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