Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't think brook has ever known best
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
