shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
