garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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