I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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