i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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