kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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