He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
