i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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