Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
