Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
