My room smells like vodka and shame
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
