why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
