well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
third nipple confirmed
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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