You're my little dorito
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
