It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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