I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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