Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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