He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
