in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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