Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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