The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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