I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
