Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
