I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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