Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
