i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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