How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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