just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
