Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
