So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
