Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
